The Other View
by schizophrenic-twilight-lover
Summary: So many different paths. So many different choices. But only one chance in life. Is it worth waking up in the morning when you know that there's nothng to live for? Jacob oneshots
1. When It Rains

Hey guys. This is pretty crappy but it's 12:00AM and I'm super tired. I just read a Jacob/Bella fanfic so I was just inspired. I'll probably regret this in the morning. No flames for this one though cuz I know it's pretty sucky but I just wanted to get this out. Thx.

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight...well not now**

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The rain felt good on my unusually hot skin, giving me some form of release from the world. _She once told me she hated the rain and the cold and wet. _I sighed angrily. It's not fair. That filthy bloodsucker left her for months, leaving her to die out in the forest yet when it came down to it she still chose him over me.

I had helped mend her – not completely but more than anyone else could. I helped her through the rough times and I protected her. How could she just cast me away like that? As soon as the bloodsucker comes back, she runs back into his arms even he though he left her and just leaves me in the dust. I hate her for it…no, that's not true. I could never hate her. Hating an angel just wasn't right, it just something I'm not capable of.

I love her. From the moment I set my eyes on her that day at the beach, I could tell there was something special about her. I had a crush on her from the first day that we met but when I actually got to know her I was just blown away. I loved everything about her - I still do – and whenever I thought of her or when she was near, I felt like I was floating on air, so excited, so happy. I knew that I was in love. Why else would I be happiest with her? I wanted her to be mine, even if she was broken I didn't care. I would wait for her for as long as it takes.

She never became mine though. She always belonged to someone else. _Bella._ Her name sent a shiver through me like nothing else could. The name of an angel, the most beautiful creation God has ever made.

She doesn't love me though; no, she loves him. I snarled at the thought. He doesn't deserve her, not like me.

I find this life has no point anymore. I'm a monster; a menace to society and my only love loves someone else. Why not just end the pain now? I was in the ocean now with the water up to my chest, the waves crashing against me. A few more steps forward and my head would be engulfed by the waves. I could just drown in the ocean and let the water take my body wherever it sees fit.

I feel something in my pocket as I try to move forward into the waves; I dig my hand into my pocket to pull the object out. It was the bow from the motorcycle, my birthday present. I laugh bitterly. It was from when I was happy. When everything was right. When Bella was with me. My steps into the water quicken wanting to get this over with. _Don't do this. _Wow, voices in my head are talking to me. _Don't do this. Think about Billy and The Pack. _I knew this was going to hurt them but what difference does it make? I'm hurting them right now, I can tell. My depression is causing everyone pain, they'll get over me quicker if I die; If I'm not there to remind to feel sorry for me every day. _What about Bella? The thought of you dying because of her would kill her. _That struck a pang in my heart. I don't want to cause Bella any pain but I'm doing this for her.

_Bella doesn't want this for you; she wants you to live. Don't do this to her._

I started to head back on land. I couldn't do that to Bella. I can't hurt her anymore. I'll live for her.

"I'm doing this for you Bella. I'm going to live for you."

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Review please. If you hate it, still review. Just don't go one about how stupid it was or something 'kay? Just say ' This isn't your best work' or something. I dn't need to know how much you think this sucks. If you like it then yay! I personally think I can do better but I'm tired. I'll probably come back and rewrite it. R&R


	2. So Much More

**9/29/07**

**Okay, this isn't a continuation of Chapter 1. Nope, I've decided that these will all be Jacob ONESHOTS. They are in no way related to each other except if I say so in the AN. This isn't my best work but I finished Eclipse and I had to write something! **

**Disclaimer: There once was an apple. The apple could talk and do you know what it says? Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight!**

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30 years. It's a long time. It's something that I can never acquire again. It's priceless and precious. I've always known time was of value but after Bella left, it ceased to matter anymore. Nothing mattered anymore. Time was just something that passed by for me, never exceptionally of worth to me consciously yet so still important.

I waited for her for so long. Hoping that she'd come back to me. I ached for the feel of her in my arms, her lips pressed against mine, her presence lingering in the air. I didn't want to believe that she would choose death over life, vampire over human, Edward over everything else.

Sam and the others told me I'd eventually get over it, after all, I hadn't imprinted on her. I'd always wonder why I didn't. Still I endured time patiently for the moment when she would appear in my doorway, vampire or not, and tell me she was back. Yet she didn't and I finally realized I had to move on. I feel into a deep depression as that realization pressed on me. Weighing me down until I couldn't breathe.

Slowly though, I learned how to forget, and like that, I moved on by pretending to forget. I met a girl, Kelsie. It was love at first sight, literally. I imprinted on her. I thought finally understood what Sam and Quil and Jared all felt firsthand but somehow, it was different. I was cautious at first, I tried to stay away but the pull was too strong. Eventually, I ended up just like Quil and the others, like a love struck fool. I was willing to do almost anything for Kelsie. Almost. Somehow, even though most of the pack had imprinted, something about the way I did made me stand out. Almost as if my love for her wasn't as strong as Sam's love for Emily or Quil's love for Claire.

Once again, I was different from the rest of the pack. Sam told me that what I felt was almost exactly what he felt for Emily. Notice how the word almost is coming up a lot? It seemed imprinting didn't have the same affect on me for some reason. I've pondered about it many times, but never have I come across the answer.

I decided it didn't matter. After all, I was always strange like this. No matter how much the same I was to everyone else, I was always so different. I stopped resisting and just let life take me where it wanted to. So here I am today. In front of the altar, marrying Kelsie yet this feels so different than what I'd expect. I'd thought I'd be happy at least but I'm not. I feel so – indifferent.

I turn my eyes to the crowd for just a second and I see a flash of white and red. Alarmed, I sniff the air and there it was. The too-sweet smell of vampire burning my nostrils. How I didn't notice before I don't know, but who could it be? Except…

I turn my attention back to the crowd, scanning for my target. And there she was, smiling timidly at me. Bella. I smile back at her but immediately stop, because though she's here, she's one of them now. Her pale skin clad with her vivid crimson dress stands out from the crowd. I sigh. She's as beautiful as ever, shiny brown hair cascading down her back, the warmth in her smile, her eyes sparkling a golden topaz.

Kelsie turns to look at me curiously. It's then I notice that my spying hadn't gone unnoticed. The pack had spotted her and Kelsie – with most of the guests - are now looking at her too. Some with amazement, some with envy and some with surprise.

Bella didn't seem to care – or notice. I smiled ruefully. 30 years ago, she would have been blushing her head off but she's just smiling at me, melting me with her gaze. Jealous. She mouthed to me. I laughed quietly at our inside joke.

In that moment I understood. I got the answer to my questions.

Why wasn't I happy? Why is it always 'almost' and never 'always' for Kelsie? Why didn't I imprint on Bella?

I finally figured it out. If I'd never met Bella, then Kelsie _would_ be my everything. I imprinted on her, but it was a force that tugged at me mentally towards her. Telling me that we were compatible. That she was all I needed, but my heart belonged to another. My heart belonged to Bella.

Kelsie might be what I _need_ but it's Bella that I _want_.

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**I'm gonna answer some questions here;**

**1. _Why didn't Jake imprint on Bella?_**

**In this fanfic. Jacob is figuring out how imprinting on someone doesn't you'll fall in love with them. It just happens most of the time because the person you imprint on is everything that you need in a mate but Bella is who he wants. And she is everything he needs, but fate was trying not to be cruel to him because Bella's already in love with Edward and having Jake inprint on her would just be mean. **

**For me, true love isn't as clean and neat as looking at someone and immidiately falling in love with them. To me, that just sounds too fake and simple. I don't believe in that kind of love to be real becuase when you love someone, it can't be because something in forcing you to which is what is happening to Jake.**

**2. What was Kelsie thinking when she saw Bella?**

**Kelsie knew who Bella is because Jacob felt it wouldn't be fair to exclude her from the knowledge of someone who made such a big impact in his life. Kelsie knew immediately that it was Bella because Jake had showed her pictures - Kelsie got intimidated by Bella's picture, how do you think she felt when she saw Bella as a vampire?**

**What Kelsie didn't know what how much Bella meant to Jacob. She just knows that Jake had an infatuation over her for a ''little" while. When Kelsie saw her, she was surprised, then amazed and finally, envious. **

**So I hope you enjoyed this and please review!**


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